Mine, mine, mine, all mine!

After much deliberation, "A" has decided that Caleb loves me more than he loves him and that he should stay with me!

Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Adieu to the Piano

Adieu to the Piano: Attributed to Beethoven posthumously, this piece expresses a love for the piano forte and in its minor key development, the sadness at saying adieu.

Today, I'm taking pictures of my 1927 Steinway A-III Heirloom grand to send to a dealer who has expressed an interest in purchasing it from me. It hurts my heart to have to sell this gorgeous instrument with the warm, rich tones -- but given the fact that I'll likely be moving twice in the next 18 months and need to maintain two households for the foreseeable future, I see no alternatives. It's a time of change for me right now and, quite frankly, I'm not dealing with it very well at all. In addition to selling the piano, I'm facing separation from my baby boy - Caleb; the sale of my grandmother's house where I've lived since her passing; taking a step backward in my career; and divorcing my husband of nine years.

It struck me the other day that I have spent nearly a quarter of my life with this man -- some of the most difficult years of my life. I would like to say that I'm handling it all with grace and aplomb, but I'm not. I know that, ultimately, I will come through it all - as I always have - and will be a better, stronger person for having done so. It's just a tough patch at the moment and my place of solace - at the keys - will be absent for the duration.

Ma'am, step AWAY from the Blackberry

It occurs to me that booze and Blackberries simply do not mix. For the third time in as many weeks, I have fired off a totally inappropriate text message after the third or fourth adult beverage and it's become embarrassing! If I could figure out how to install a breathalyzer on the damned thing, I would -- they can do it with car ignitions, surely someone out there can figure out how to lock you out of the text messaging function if you're toasted.

So, this morning, once again, I'm sending the obligatory "I'm sorry... I'm an idiot" e-mail. Now, I need a nap. I'm old and simply cannot handle the late nights any more. (sigh) Sad, but true.

When the Emotional Becomes Physical

Recently I've found that the mere thought of coming home causes me physical pain. It happened again today. I had been fine for most of my two days at the beach - save the emotional stress of trying to figure out what to do about my job (or the lack thereof) and trying to figure out why a friend took a particular, unexpected action in our relationship. Then, this morning after checking out of the hotel, I went for one last walk on the beach before heading home. As I turned around to head for the car, my stomach started hurting and by the time I reached the car, I was nearly bent over from the pain.

Just one more sign that I need to get this taken care of now... but it appears as if "A" is going to take every last day of the 90 days notice I gave him before he moves out... even offered to stay given the change in my work status.

In the midst of all of my personal drama, I got word that one of the two teens murdered near my home last week was the only son of my first high school boyfriend. That kind of put things in perspective.

The Job That Wasn't

For six weeks now - since the fateful day I got my lay-off notice -- everyone has been telling me that I'd be fine and that there would always be a place for me on the team in my region. I assumed that on May 5th, I would start a new job and that I would, indeed, be fine. On Thursday, I found out that while I may be "fine" in the long run, there is a hiccup in the plan: they have no spot for me at the moment and I could be unemployed for as much as 90 days while they "create" a spot. Given that I've offered bribe, I mean INCENTIVE, money to "A" to get him to move out, this puts me in a bit of a pickle. Were it not for the remuneration I received for The Trip That Wasn't, I would be up that well known creek with no visible means of propulsion.

I don't know what the Universe has in mind, but it should be an interesting ride!

As for my allusion to an interesting change coming in my life - there was a complete reversal there too... so nothing fun to look forward to.

(sigh)

The good part of my week is that I am at the Beach this weekend on the 12th floor of an oceanfront hotel soaking up one of the most gorgeous days in recent memory. This, thanks to the 75 days I spent in a hotel last year that earned me Platinum Elite status! :-)

Sweet!

Property Settlement Agreement - Check...

Divorced before my birthday -- check!

I'm so tickled with my attorney I could just dance a jig! Since "A" and I have been living separate and apart since last July with no marital relations (TMI, I know and I'm sorry), as soon as our PSA is filed with the court, I can file my complaint and will more than likely be divorced before my birthday in early June!!!!!

Now, if I can just get him to stop threatening suicide and wanting to take my dog away!!!!!

More later.

The Deed is Done

I spoke with A this weekend and told him that I think it's time we end the charade of pretending to be married. Of course, this necessitates him moving, so he wasn't happy about it. There was the usual accusation of cheating -- which I was expecting -- and even an offer to go to counseling -- which I didn't believe, because he has such a low opinion of anyone in that field. I've tried to remove as many obstacles as possible, so I'm paying for his movers and lifting his rent requirement until he moves out -- which, hopefully, will be on or about July 15th.

I have an appointment with an attorney on Wednesday and I'm on my way to the bank right now to unlink our accounts and remove the JTWROS provision from my accounts.

Now, I just have to figure out how to stay out of his way and convince him, without causing an argument, that Caleb should stay with me!

That's all I have for now.

Stay tuned!

Twist of Fate

My life has taken an interesting and unexpected turn. Stay tuned as a new possibility opens up and I set off into uncharted waters.

On the job front, I had one of THE most awful interviews of my life this past week. The hiring manager was the hind-end of an equine and tossed out such winning phrases as, "well, you DO realize that being a wholesaler is more than just being the bubbly girl at the front of the room whom everyone likes and when she's done they all say, 'wasn't she GREAT!'?" Oh, and then there was the priceless usage of the word "buffoon" in reference to our financial professionals and "nothing more than glorified trainers" in reference to the job I'm leaving. Yes, he was a real winner! I wouldn't take that job now if he begged me on hands and knees. What a schmuck!

On the home front, this weekend will be atom bomb weekend at my house. I have enough things settled that I feel confident in striking out on my own. I have a plan -- let's just hope it doesn't blow up in my face.

That's all for now... but, like I said, STAY TUNED!!!!!

Job Interview Hell

Last Friday I was scheduled to interview for a Regional job in Atlanta (just the interview, not the job). I got to the airport, after checking in from home the night before and arrived at the gate, handed over my "seat assignment" ticket and was told, "I'm sorry, we're over-booked and the next possible flight gets you in at 4:15 pm. My interview was at 1.

So, no trip to Atlanta for me. Now, I'm in New York, ready for the second try. Fingers crossed for a meaningful outcome -- that could either mean getting the job or getting a clear indication that it's the WRONG job for me.

More later.