Surprise!

You know, I try very hard not to be an angry person. I don't like being around angry people -- they make me uncomfortable -- yet since Monday, I've been an angry person.

I'm angry at my business partner for giving me the shaft on the office space front. I'm angry at my contractor for giving me the short end of the stick when it comes to getting my job done on time (he called off work on Friday so he could put all his guys on SOMEONE ELSE'S job so that it could be finished on time). I'm angry at myself for being angry - and for subsequently stuffing my face with comfort food. I'm angry at Ali for constantly complaining about the inadequacy of the space I'm paying to build for him. I'm just plain old angry! It kind of surprised me today as I was moving all of my stuff from my lovely, secluded, quiet, large office space to my dinky, wide-open, noisy office space. I picked up a chair and flung it against the wall. I didn't realize I had it in me to act that way... but in that moment, I wanted to break things. I reigned myself in - but it really was quite surprising.

I know that I will not be able to stay in this office space for long. I'm seething over the whole thing. I keep trying to 'let it go', but it keeps bubbling to the surface. It's so very unfair. He promised me that office space! If I had known I was going to be crammed into this fish bowl, I never would have moved here in the first place!

All of that being said, I simply cannot allow this to derail my fourth quarter. Every one's relying on me to produce miracles and I can't produce miracles while my head's up my ass. Let it go, Lauren... breathe in, breathe out... focus on joy and peace and abundance and St. Thomas in April (that's the location of our trip for top producers). Think happy thoughts... like "Johnny Numb Nuts" writhing in pain from thousands of scorpion stings. Oh, crap, there I go again! Breathe in... breath out...