Do you guess it's a bad thing that when he asked if he was bothering me I said, 'yes'?
I've never thought of myself as a solitary soul, but I'm finding myself wishing more and more for the peace and quiet that was my life just two months ago. The ear-splitting action movies and the constant need for approval is wearing on my ever-so-thin nerves.
There's an obvious displeasure about my new involvement with the band and about the hours I keep at work, and there's an increasing level of discontent with his current employer. I can see the hand writing on the wall -- a big storm is brewing. I will be willing to bet that as soon as he's fully vested in his retirement plan at work (March), he will pull another stunt like the one he pulled after we got married when he came home and announced that he had quit his job with no other prospects on the horizon.
He's not a bad person -- really, he isn't. He's just not MY person... you know -- THE ONE. I thought he was... but I was oh so wrong. Guess it's time to be honest about that, too.
1 comment:
((HUGS)) Lauren. I think the hardest thing about difficult spouses is admitting it not only to ourselves, but then to THEM. I think you and I are a lot alike in the marriage phase...people pleasers who don't want to fail at something as important as marriage.
But I learned (and I know you know this) that if I have to choose between my happiness and someone elses -- when they're mutually exclusive -- I have to choose me first. Someone who loves me would want that too, KWIM?
P&PT for you my friend. Now get in touch with your bad self...saying something's bothering you is your right.
Jules
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