one of THOSE nights... sleepless and punctuated by "the ugly cry". After a none-too-successful day, the old ego is feeling bruised and, try as I might, fitting in on this lovely little rock in the Pacific is proving more difficult than I had ever imagined. Everything that made me successful as a sales person on the mainland is missing here. I'm just a haole girl trying to find her way in an asian society with no particular claim to fame and no natural market. Getting out of sales would seem the natural choice, but I'm not uniquely qualified to do much else -- not here anyway -- not without being bi-lingual or local. I feel like an abysmal failure and I just don't know what to do about it. So, here I sit on the sofa at 11 pm on a Friday night, crying my eyes out, while my man slumbers in the next room... writing a blog entry for the first time in months, and missing home... missing being the best at what I do and everything that brought with it: money, recognition, a profound sense of accomplishment. Tonight I feel like a fish out of water... and it's left me gasping for air.
That being said, tomorrow is another day and I'm sure my perspective will be less tragic... however swollen my eyes may be.
