Sometimes I Wonder

I wonder if circumstances are trying to communicate something important to me, or if they're just circumstances.

I wonder if the reason things aren't falling into place is because they're not meant to -- or if it's just a bad streak of luck.

I wonder if the headaches and upset stomach are my body's way of warning me that all is not well, or if I'm just sick because I have a bug.

I wonder... then I remember the message that came through loud and clear as I agonized over this decision in the first place... "just love him."

Hmmm... I wonder.

ANNOYED!

So, here it is 6:14 pm and my 6 o'clock appointment has yet to show up... neither has he called to say he's running late... nor did he pick up his frickin' phone when I called HIM! I hope that he's well and safe -- truly I do. But if he's not smeared on the side of the road somewhere, I'd like to beat him upside the head with a heavy metal object.

HOW RUDE! Don't people realize that my time is in high demand? Don't they realize that I could have scheduled several other people in the time slot they so flippantly vacated without so much as a courtesy call. Don't they realize that if I'm not meeting with people and writing business then my bills don't get paid? Don't they realize, or do they just not care?

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!