Monday, September 10, 2007

Sometimes I Wonder

I wonder if circumstances are trying to communicate something important to me, or if they're just circumstances.

I wonder if the reason things aren't falling into place is because they're not meant to -- or if it's just a bad streak of luck.

I wonder if the headaches and upset stomach are my body's way of warning me that all is not well, or if I'm just sick because I have a bug.

I wonder... then I remember the message that came through loud and clear as I agonized over this decision in the first place... "just love him."

Hmmm... I wonder.

2 comments:

Tammy said...

First off, I'm here!!!!!! Woohoo!!!! I have missed being here and so glad I figured out the glitch. I needed to use my google account. Anyway...

Here are my thoughts on what you've said here. Two things...

First on circumstances... I believe that God (and you know that is the perspective I come from) speaks to me more clearly through the circumstances of my life than not. Other people actually hear God's voice in their head or believe that God speaks through other avenues. Most of our decisions have been made by starting down a path and seeing where God will lead us and believing wholeheartedly that the door will slam in our faces or God will provide another avenue to get through where he wants us to go. It's hard though because it takes first alot of faith to take the first step AND it leads to alot more false starts... in the end, we have reached a conclusion that sometimes dictate that we don't do anything else but wait and listen. I don't know what circumstances you are talking about but also a factor in our decision making is our past experiences. We are firm believers that we learn from the circumstances that have hurt (or helped) us along the way as a marker to how to interpret the present paths in front of us. For instance, we are still contemplating adding another child to our family and are hesitant to go through the process with the government because we have had really tough experiences in the past. And we don't have the finances for another adoption through our agency, with whom we had to really good experiences. That door is closed. So the only possible open door at this point is the government, but even though that possibility is there, would we be wise to walk through it?? Right now, we aren't so sure. Good grief... I could go on and on about this but that's a start to how I think about those kinda things.

Now as for what your body is telling you... yes, I believe that illness and depression (not that you said that, but that is from where I come...) are attempts by our bodies to tell us something needs to change. Body and spirit are inextricably intertwined. THat is how we are created. When I start feeling the pall of depression on me, I know something has to change about how I care for myself physically. So listen to your body... and it is especially true when we get older.

Hugs to you...

tims_mom said...

The heart will say one thing, the brain will say another. But it's past events that shape our decisions, and reasoning that helps decide future decisions.

No one should tell you, you are wrong or right.......only you can make that choice.

((((HUGS)))

Nancy-palp