I swear, I think my heart stopped...

thankfully, I was in the ER. After struggling with back pain off and on since the week before the big show, I finally caved and called my doctor. The pain was shooting down my legs and I had burning and muscle spasms in my calves. Of course, it was a Friday and the only time they could see me was 20 minutes prior to a closing appointment I had that was worth five figures in commission -- so after the appointment, I went off to the ER (courtesy of the ex, who dropped me off at the curb and left me there). After a two hour wait (which I spent pacing because sitting was just EXCRUCIATING), I was taken back to a bed where I waited another hour -- alone. All I could think was, "If I have to have another back surgery, I'll go bankrupt. I can't afford to be out of work for a month. I'll have to move in with my parents. I'll be back to square one." And the tears escaped the corners of my eyes, despite my best efforts to contain them.

One of the reasons I decided to go to the ER and not a doc in a box was that I thought they'd give me an MRI and I'd be one step ahead of the game. I was amazed to learn that they will only give you an MRI for back pain when there is evidence of cord compression -- i.e. numbness, or the inability to pee or poop. Now, the last time I was in the ER for my back, I met all of those criterion. This time, however, I just got drugs... and that's where the title of this post comes in. They put in an IV and gave me Dilaudid, phenergan and a massive dose of steroids. When the Dialudid hit my system, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't talk, it felt like my throat was closing up and I panicked! The nurse told me that everyone reacts differently and that I must be uber sensitive. She took my BP and it was just 90/58, so I got to stay a little while longer. She told me that drug addicts live for the moment when the dilaudid hits their systems. I say they can have it! It scared the shit out of me!!! Of course, I felt like a wet noodle after I caught my breath and my heart started beating again! LOL

Anyway, I have to call my primary on Monday to get an MRI scheduled. For now, I'm on a cocktail of Hydrocodone, Robaxin and prednisolone (so you'll have to excuse any typos). Just pray that I don't have to have surgery. I'm not overly optimistic about my chances of avoiding it... because even on the drugs, I can't sit for more than five minutes... which are now up... so I'm signing off.