At the end of my block is one of the most bizarre sights I've ever seen. The house itself is pretty ordinary -- a brick ranch circa 1970. It's the yard that causes people to do a double-take. You see, these folks have the oddest outcroppings of flowers in their yard that you've ever seen. Here it is October and there are tulips blooming along the driveway and Jonquils surrounding the bird bath. There are even crocus and forsythia surrounding the various and sundry pieces of yard art (ranging from the blessed Virgin to fake squirrels, bunnies and geese).
It's obvious from the turquoise trim on their red brick house that these folks aren't blessed with the best taste in the world, but why, pray tell, would anyone put PLASTIC flowers in their yard (and I DO mean IN their yard -- there's not a flowerbed to be found)? And if you ARE going to 'plant' fake flowers, you could at least go to the trouble to make them appear somewhat realistic -- these things are sticking out of the ground so far that you can see the big green spike that usually goes inside the vase!
I have half a mind to sneak over there one night, gather them all up and put them in a garbage bag on their front porch with a note and a gift certificate to Home Depot.
"Dear neighbor, please do us all a favor (and our property values too), and go to Home Depot to buy some REAL flowers! We'll even help you plant them in REAL flowerbeds!
Sincerely,
Your non-plastic-flower-loving neighbors.
P.S. You'll find the Virgin and her petting zoo around back. We thought they'd be more comfortable there."
2 comments:
Is the Virgin petting a pink flamingo? 'Cause that would be pretty awesome.
Funny post, Holmes -- Good to see you back in action!
I have heard of this phenomenon: planting plastic flowers. It befuddles me. I cannot compute. I only hope that it is, in fact, an attempt to BURY THE THINGS, but the gophers got wind of the scheme and are slowly pushing them back up.
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