NOLA here I come!

I'm pleased as punch to announce that I have won the company Sugar Bowl trip to New Orleans! Being the top at my job in our region, I qualified for the trip, which ensues on New Year's Eve... yes, I will be in New Orleans, LA on New Year's Eve!!!! I'm so tickled I could just doodle-dance! I'm taking my dad with me and we are staying in a hautned hotel! It's all too fabulous and I can't wait to come back and blog all about it.

As soon as I'm home from that trip, I'm taking my mom to D.C. to the Kennedy Center to see one of the final productions by the Broadway cast of Legally Blonde. THEN, once I'm settled back into my lovely home, I'm dropping the bomb on "A". His job is out of jeopardy and he has proven over and over and over again during these past months that there is nothing that can salvage this pitiful excuse for a marriage. I have thought and thought about what to do with our baby and I have decided to dog-nap him and hide him away. Even though "A" is home more than I am, that little dog loves ME and clings to ME and would be lost without me. I will figure out a way to take him with me, send him to doggy-daycare, and fill in with my dad walking him every once in a while. I'll just have to get up really early some days and stay up really late some nights... whatever the cost, I cannot imagine being without him.

So... by January 15th, things will be up in the air again here at my house. Wish me luck! It ain't gonna be pretty.

It's Christmas Once More

Watching holiday classics...
Crying over silly mother-daughter films...
Being disappointed yet again by a man who does not understand me...
Mourning my baby, who would have been four this year...

It's Christmas once more and, although I am winning every promotion and qualifying for every trip it just feels empty... and even though it feels empty, I yearn for solitude -- without him -- just me and my baby boy... you know, the one with four paws and brown spots. Yet, being without one may cause me to be without the other and the mere thought of that reduces me to tears.

So, I work...
I hide from my feelings...
I try to pretend that the accolades and applause are enough...
Will any of it EVER be enough?