Sunday, September 27, 2009
Nostalgia
The past several weeks, I have been sorting through all of the photos and memorabilia from my life and trying to organize it all into photo albums and scrapbooks. Today, I got to the scrapbook part... as I sat knee deep in old report cards and growth charts the thought came to me, "who cares?" Literally? Who cares? Other than me and, perhaps my boyfriend (for the first perusal), who will EVER care about the things that happened in my life? I think about my mom's albums and scrapbooks and trip logs and I know that my brother and I - and perhaps my nieces - will page through them wistfully when she is gone. It's at times like these that the footprint of your life comes into focus. Without anyone to carry on after you -- without children -- your life (at least the silly scrapbook moments) don't really mean a thing. These photographs and snipets of my years on this planet will be one more thing to be disposed of... one more item on the list of "what do we do with THESE?" Cheering letters, pageant crowns, roses pressed in wax paper... love notes, playbills and theatrical reviews... Maybe I should plan for a Viking Funeral... load all of this up with me on a pyre, set it all aflame and send me out to sea... That's easier to think about than the alternative: my final contribution to America's landfills.
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2 comments:
If it matters to YOU, IT MATTERS. Just think you might want to look through it when you are old. Might come in handy if dementia sets in and you want reminders of what used to be. Your nieces will like memories too when you are gone. :-)
((Lauren)) Ooof I completely understand. This is a realization (fear?) I've been having more and more lately. The closer I get to realizing that I will never be a mother, the more I think about my legacy and who will care, and it all seems so sad and such a waste of a life.
I have relatives who've died and almost ALL their stuff has been gone through, carefully divided up, cherished.
My childless uncle? A few letters from him are all I have. And I'm not even writing those to my nieces and nephews..
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