FLABBERGASTED

So, it's been an interesting "last week" here at the old job. There's been quite a stir surrounding whether or not I merit a farewell party or lunch out or anything at all. Initially, my co-workers were planning a lunch for tomorrow - my last day. That's nothing unusual -- in fact, it's pretty standard practice just about everywhere I've worked. So why was it that my "boss" raised SUCH a ruckus that the whole thing had to be scrapped? She told everyone that "due to the circumstances surrounding my departure" that things should be kept low-key. You would think that I'd been fired for gross misconduct instead of just moving on to bigger and better things with a company that is in no way in competition with my current employer.

But wait! It gets better!! My friends decided that they were not going to be thwarted by this evil-doer and scheduled a new lunch date for the week after I leave -- and excluded the "boss" from the invitation. Well, somehow, she got wind of it all and invited herself to the "no-bitches-allowed" luncheon, or NBA for short. Ok... so I was surprised... but then it just got even BETTER. The evil-doer had the gall to say, "I don't know why we didn't do this tomorrow!" What????? We didn't do it because YOU, in your infinite bitchness, said we couldn't... and now you've invited yourself to our NBA luncheon and expect me to be HAPPY about it?!? You, dear woman, have lost your ever-loving mind!

I am giving serious consideration to canceling the whole outing and scheduling mini-luncheons with the girls over the coming weeks. I'm just amazed at the audacity of this woman... the boldness of her lies and the sickeningly sweet tone dripping from her poisonous tongue. I'm a pretty darned good judge of people - but I'll be darned if I can tell when this woman is telling the truth and when she is lying... maybe she NEVER tells the truth and that's why there's no difference in her behavior.

All I know is I'll be glad to be out of this toxic tundra. Maybe that's what was making me sick. Hmmm... It's a possibility!