Circling the Drain

It is an awful thing not to miss one's spouse? Mine's been out of town for five days now and when he called last night to say his flight had been delayed and he'd be gone another day, my heart actually leapt for joy.

It's not that he's a bad man... he's not... he's just a bit on the negative side... okay.. a LOT on the negative side... He's a glass-nearly-empty kind of guy.... everything's always worse than it actually is and the DRAMA surrounding even the simplest of things is exhausting. My apologies for that horrible sentence structure...

I guess it's no surprise that I've found his absence calming and relaxing and downright enjoyable or that I'm dreading his return with almost equal passion. What does that say about our marriage? Wouldn't I be better off not continuing this charade and just toughing it out on my own? Wouldn't the energy I spend trying to deflect his negativity be better spent on building my business and taking care of me and my puppy? I have felt more like the ME I was when we met than I've felt since the day he moved in. I hadn't realized how far afield I'd wandered from my up-beat, positive, loving-life self. I wonder if the positive can TRULY overpower the negative? All I know is that I don't want to be sucked into the negative void ever again... but as his return home looms ever closer, I feel myself circling the drain...

Peace at last

Listen... do you hear that? It's the sound of quiet solitude... perfect peace. It's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard, save the waves crashing on the beach. Today is the third day in which I have been free from the toxic barrage of negative thoughts, words and deeds at work. That, in and of itself, is worth its weight in gold... but to have peace and quiet at home too... THAT is priceless. DH is on a business trip until Friday night and I can't even begin to express how much I'm enjoying the time to myself.

My whole body seems to be heaving a huge sigh of relief.

I am, quite simply, happy.

Beyond Flabbergasted

My last day with the company was, indeed, interesting. All I did was try to balance two conflicting appointments (one made without consulting me or my calendar) so that I could meet BOTH obligations -- one to a client of the Ice Queen and another to a professional organization's charity event planning committee. The client merely needed to fill out a form and drop off some applications and the committee needed my input on the budget and the invitations. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the client is the easier of the two to rearrange!

After making this decision which was not in direct correlation with the aforementioned Queen's directive, I quickly became the recipient of a new orifice in the general vicinity of my derierre. Said orifice was accompanied several hours later by an escort to the front door. The fact that the client over whom the entire blow up occurred didn't even bother to show up was of no consequence -- I had disobeyed Her Majesty, the Queen of Ice.

The best part for me was that I remained in perfect control of myself. I neither yelled, nor screamed nor cursed. I simply stated that I thought she was over-reacting and that I was sorry to see things end this way. She stated that it was all my doing... I quietly replied that I didn't agree, but that she was free to think whatever she wished. I wished her well and left the building. It was nice knowing that I left there being the bigger person. She, after all, had yelled at me, slammed a door and flung my check at me. I had done nothing wrong, save think for myself.

The worst part is that two men for whom I have a great deal of respect may now think less of me due to this antagonistic little woman. They are partners in the firm. I wonder if they'll take my call? Do you think they'd be interested in "the rest of the story" as Paul Harvey would say?

As embarrassing as the turn of events was, I did have a nice afternoon. I met a good friend for lunch, went shopping, and then visited my parents. Not bad for a sunny Friday afternoon! And with that, I close this chapter on The Queen of Ice and move on to bigger, better and bitchless things.

FLABBERGASTED

So, it's been an interesting "last week" here at the old job. There's been quite a stir surrounding whether or not I merit a farewell party or lunch out or anything at all. Initially, my co-workers were planning a lunch for tomorrow - my last day. That's nothing unusual -- in fact, it's pretty standard practice just about everywhere I've worked. So why was it that my "boss" raised SUCH a ruckus that the whole thing had to be scrapped? She told everyone that "due to the circumstances surrounding my departure" that things should be kept low-key. You would think that I'd been fired for gross misconduct instead of just moving on to bigger and better things with a company that is in no way in competition with my current employer.

But wait! It gets better!! My friends decided that they were not going to be thwarted by this evil-doer and scheduled a new lunch date for the week after I leave -- and excluded the "boss" from the invitation. Well, somehow, she got wind of it all and invited herself to the "no-bitches-allowed" luncheon, or NBA for short. Ok... so I was surprised... but then it just got even BETTER. The evil-doer had the gall to say, "I don't know why we didn't do this tomorrow!" What????? We didn't do it because YOU, in your infinite bitchness, said we couldn't... and now you've invited yourself to our NBA luncheon and expect me to be HAPPY about it?!? You, dear woman, have lost your ever-loving mind!

I am giving serious consideration to canceling the whole outing and scheduling mini-luncheons with the girls over the coming weeks. I'm just amazed at the audacity of this woman... the boldness of her lies and the sickeningly sweet tone dripping from her poisonous tongue. I'm a pretty darned good judge of people - but I'll be darned if I can tell when this woman is telling the truth and when she is lying... maybe she NEVER tells the truth and that's why there's no difference in her behavior.

All I know is I'll be glad to be out of this toxic tundra. Maybe that's what was making me sick. Hmmm... It's a possibility!

What don't dogs GET about weekends?

Did you ever wonder why dogs don't get weekends? I mean, my pup is wide awake at 5am -- just like every other day -- and I simply cannot get him to understand that weekends are for sleeping IN!

I suppose it must be nice to look forward to each day with so much enthusiasm... and I look forward to my weekends... but I look forward to NOT having to turn on the alarm clock and NOT having to crawl out of bed before the sun's begun its ascent. It's a virtual impossibility, however, to get even one extra minute of sleep at my house. Caleb's there, Johnny on the Spot, at 5am, licking my hand or arm or (God forbid) my face... tail wagging... ready to frolic in the yard, chase the birds and then take a nice long nap. I don't get naps. Something's terribly wrong with this picture! Is there a Puppy Training Camp for weekend etiquette? If so, sign me up! I need a nice long Saturday snooze!