It is an awful thing not to miss one's spouse? Mine's been out of town for five days now and when he called last night to say his flight had been delayed and he'd be gone another day, my heart actually leapt for joy.
It's not that he's a bad man... he's not... he's just a bit on the negative side... okay.. a LOT on the negative side... He's a glass-nearly-empty kind of guy.... everything's always worse than it actually is and the DRAMA surrounding even the simplest of things is exhausting. My apologies for that horrible sentence structure...
I guess it's no surprise that I've found his absence calming and relaxing and downright enjoyable or that I'm dreading his return with almost equal passion. What does that say about our marriage? Wouldn't I be better off not continuing this charade and just toughing it out on my own? Wouldn't the energy I spend trying to deflect his negativity be better spent on building my business and taking care of me and my puppy? I have felt more like the ME I was when we met than I've felt since the day he moved in. I hadn't realized how far afield I'd wandered from my up-beat, positive, loving-life self. I wonder if the positive can TRULY overpower the negative? All I know is that I don't want to be sucked into the negative void ever again... but as his return home looms ever closer, I feel myself circling the drain...
3 comments:
Your analogy of circling the drain is striking a chord with me. I can't believe how much our dh's are alike. The emotional sapping and draining of postitive feelings is soooo tiring. I could look out the window and say ..."Would you look at this sunset..it is so breathtaking" and he'd say "it would be if I took my chainsaw and cut down that tree in the way" blech
Only you can make the decision you need to but I think you are on your way.
WOW... yep... that's him, alright. When we met, I thought I could encourage him and help him to see the positive side of life... instead, he drug me down to his level. Why is that always the way it goes?
I'm very optomistic. My husband is very pessimestic. I'm sure I spelled those wrong.
Anyway, sometimes it really gets to me how negative he can be. About the weirdest stuff!
I try to poke my positive spirit into our life to even out the balance. It's worked so far, but I can see myself in your shoes.
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