For the first time I can remember, I have been passed over for a job that I really, really wanted -- really, really NEEDED. I sat in stunned silence when I opened the form e-mail that said, thanks, but you have not been selected. I was convinced that I was perfect for the job and thought that I had done a good job of communicating that. It feels so personal -- so surreal.
I keep trying to assure myself that everything happens for a reason -- but I'm also the type of person who will spend hours second guessing myself and trying to figure out what that reason is. Is it that there is something bigger and better out there, or is it that I needed a good dose of humility? (Surely that can't be -- I've eaten enough crow with the demise of my last position.) Is God trying to tell me that I'm not intended to be in this industry? Should I be doing something else entirely with my life? Or maybe the reason is less dramatic -- maybe I would have been miserable working there!
At any rate, this turn of events has left me feeling shaken -- unsure of myself -- and questioning my purpose on this earth. It might seem silly to allow a simple job interview to wield so much power over my psyche, but I can't resist the urge to sit down and have a good cry now.
No comments:
Post a Comment