Women

Overheard in a restaurant... (woman in her 60's talking to younger woman in her 40's):
"There are days when my husband is the perfect justification for why there are lesbians in this world."

I chuckled to myself when I heard this... and then I thought about it... and it made me wonder...

My best friends have always been gay men. I've never particularly gotten along with women -- especially groups of women -- whom I usually find to be petty, small and boring -- so that would seem to exclude me as a lesbian from the get-go. My most engaging and interesting relationships have been with my single female friends, gay men and older women whose children are grown and gone -- women who have outside interests like theatre, music and intellectual pursuits. Perhaps because I am childless, I am at a disadvantage with most women my age who talk about their kids ad nauseum and complain about their husbands daily. Neither subject interests me in the least.

But back to the lesbian thing... I notice that more often than not I am drawn to the female form. A recent example is this season's Dancing With the Stars -- I was completely enamored of Stacy Keibler and couldn't have given a rat's (*) about any of the men -- even the professional dancers. I remember watching Cider House Rules and saying out loud for my soon-to-be-ex to hear, "That is the most exquisite female body I have ever seen" as a nude Charlize Theron stretched out across the bed.

Maybe my newly acquired single status is getting to me... maybe I've had enough disappointments with straight men to last a lifetime... maybe it's nothing and maybe I'm just a well-adjusted hetero who is secure enough to appreciate beauty when she sees it... but I remember well the night in college when my best friend and I -- a little drunk and a little curious -- left the bar and headed back to the dorm where we pushed together two twin beds. Had she not had a serious boyfriend at the time, I think that something might actually have happened beyond passing out in each others' arms. I loved her -- that's for sure -- I still do -- I always will -- but she's one of my dearest friends, married with seven kids.

I know this is probably a shocking revelation for some of you who've known me on the "Trying to Conceive" and "TTC after miscarriage" boards. I don't know if there's anything to it... the statement just got me thinking. Tomorrow I'll probably be done with the inquiry. I have to say, however, that there's still something about a nice, hard... well... never mind (blush).