I found the return to be difficult. My body did not want to adjust to the time and my mind did not want to return to the mundane after such mountaintop experiences in Europe. I found that I was faced with a number of decisions:
- How to tell "A" that it's time for us to put an end to things once and for all (something at which I completely suck because I'm a COWARD!)
- What to do about my job situation (the company has implemented a number of changes that have complicated my job 200 fold.)
- What do do about my LIFE!
This trip left me feeling as if my life has amounted to squat thus far and that I want to make a significant change. I don't know what that change might be, as I'm really not suited for much besides marketing, sales and singing. At first, I thought about going back to school... or doing an immersion course in a second language... or selling everything I own and backpacking across Europe... but I couldn't identify any real plan or defined course of action... I just knew that THIS isn't it. My mom asked me what I would be if I could be anything in the world -- and it took me back to the origins of this blog... a 40's torch singer. Not much call for those these days... but I meant it!
Funny, for all of my angst about my future, the world did not stop turning and my bills did not cease to be due so, for now, I've resigned myself to just work hard and hopefully save enough money to travel the world. For now, I have to get back to my life, such as it is, and make a go of it.
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