Last night, I visited a friend who lives in an apartment. As we sat watching a movie, suddenly, I hear shrieking, screaming, and the sound of violence from the apartment below. Immediately, I got a knot in my stomach... I think any woman who's experienced domestic violence does. I wondered at the choice to mute the television and listen to the exchange happening in the adjacent apartment... as the violence escalated, the child in the apartment started to cry and I heard the mother pleading, as if to prevent her child from being harmed. I urged my friend to call the police and was sickened at the response, "They fight all the time. I don't want to get involved." My mind was reeling... I heard what sounded like someone being forced up against a wall... a thud of human flesh against a solid surface... a sound I've heard before... an impact I've felt. I came unglued. I couldn't believe that we were sitting just yards away listening as if to the Sunday Night Movie of the Week and doing absolutely NOTHING.
Finally, reluctantly, my friend called 911. The police arrived and we heard them knock on the door. Within a few minutes they were gone -- things were quiet, save the muffled sobs of the woman wafting through the vents. Had our intervention accomplished anything? Were we right to call the police? I don't know... but I DO know that I view my friend much differently now... someone whose only thought was of the possibility of retaliation for being a "whistle blower." My only thought was that, if just for one night, mother and child were okay... I just wish I could tell her that it doesn't have to be this way... that she deserves better... that no one has the right to hit her or hurt her in any way. Her wracked sobs echo in my mind, "I didn't do anything, I didn't do anything..." and my heart breaks for her.
4 comments:
I so wish there was a way you could help this woman, but I'm glad you have done something.
I understand the desire to stay out of it, but I've lived it as a child, once you hear it, it's part of you. It never goes away.
Many many hugs.
I have neighbors who argue often --usually it's the men with another man who doesn't live there, but apparently is somehow related to someone there. When voices get raised and I can hear it in MY house from across the street -- it's time for me to get the phone. If they're just yelling at each other and it's 8 pm, that's one thing...but a couple of times punches have been thrown, and once they started beating up on one guy, who was on the ground getting kicked by the time I saw it -- and he was begging them to stop -- I called the police. I was glad I did because an ambulance came and took one of the guys away and arrested another guys.
Personally, I think you not only have a duty, it's an obligation to call for help. What if she had been killed that night and you had done nothing? I shudder to think.
I've been in public places where people are having a problem, and while my friends/acquaintances just stand there, I just say hey, may I borrow your cell phone? and I call 911. I think, what if it was me in need and everyone ignored my screams? Ugh.
Big hugs...you did the right thing.
Jules
I love what Tall Glass said... "I understand your friend's fear and desire to 'not get involved', but ask her to empathize with the abused, and to be the strength that they don't have to change things"
wow.... be the strength they don't have. I love that.
You did the right thing Lauren.
i agree you did the right thing..but putting myself in your friends shoes, had the fights that your friend heard before similar to the sounds that you heard? maybe this particular incident went beyond any other..and it would be a shock to hear this if thats the case...most people never find themselves in this kind of situation. i haven't. would i be like the police officer who has a gun pointed at him the 1st time? would i freeze and not do anything? i hope not. plus another thought, the sounds that you heard, sounds that "you had heard before"... maybe your friend was unsure of the sounds having not experienced what you have experienced...just thinking maybe your friend needs to be cut some slack..
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