Today I find myself in an internal dialogue about the nature of and the hypocrisy surrounding cursing. You see, I offended the sensibilities of a card-carrying member of the WMU by saying the word 'shit' in the office.
I have to say that I am vexed by people who feel that there is some vast difference between heck and hell, dang and damn, crap and shit and by those who invent all manner of alternate curse words... like dag-nab-it, cheese-and-crackers, gol-darned, crumbs, fudge, shoot, dookie and myriad other exclamations.
My theory is that the intent, emotion and underlying meaning are all the same... only you're using a different set of vowels and consonants. For example: someone crashes a grocery cart into your new car -- you have a plethora of options ranging from fuck to fudge-sticks -- but the meaning is the same, "someone crashed a grocery cart into my new car and I'm mad!" I find it hypocritical to wring one's hands over word choice, when the real issue is the ability to control one's reactions to adverse events. The issue isn't foul words versus frilly alternatives, but anger versus acceptance.
I ask you, is someone who chooses pretty words to express anger, rage, disgust, displeasure or frustration any better than the one who chooses words which match the feeling? Aren't they feeling the same thing? It's the heart of the matter, I say. What say you, bloggers?
9 comments:
I think you hit the dadburned nail on the head.
But f*ck it if you didn't.
I guess I've never thought about this Lauren. What a neat post! I love posts that cause me to stop and really ponder. I guess I agree with you. The words dont matter if the emotion is the same. But hearing "Oh fudgesticks" come out of my 7yr old's mouth is easier on the nerves than "Oh fu*ck!"
Lauren, I've started writing a comment to this post a couple of times since I saw it yesterday... and I keep thinking "Shit, I don't know what to say!"
Seriously -- I do think there is a difference between "Fudge" and "F*ck", or "Sh*t" and "Sheesh" (or in my mother's case, she says "Skeet" which is Danish for "Shit".
Perhaps it's a matter of levels of vulgarity, or the difference between Rodin and Pornography. It's simply a matter of taste, and the intent behind it.
Not to say that "Fudge" is art and "F*ck" is not. But I do think Sheri hit it on the head -- she'd rather hear her kid say "Fudge" than listen to the harsher version.
In Brazil, where I was born, they don't use any language for swearing stronger than "Merde" which is "Shit" -- but they use a lot of euphemisms that are much more colorful and expressive to tell someone they think they're full of it. I remember living down there in high school for a year and thinking "Man, they don't have the F word here...how sad." English does have some fabulous swear words, really.
I think the key is to be aware of the audience. Children and WMU members are just not in the same league with our close friends and confidantes who can handle the occasional outburst from us I guess.
Jules
Sure, there's a difference in the acceptability of the words in polite society -- that's not the point. The point is that the MEANING BEHIND THE USE is exactly the same and in that meaning lies the "sin" if you will, not in the level of perceived vulgarity.
For instance, I hit my finger with a hammer and I say, "fuck". Do I mean sexual intercourse? No, I mean THAT HURT! Someone saying any other word as an exclamation in that instance means the same thing.
Another example: when I say, "shit", I'm typically not referring to excrement... I'm usually expressing an emotion. So, the point I was trying to make is that cursing is about the emotion and not the combination of vowels and consonants.
I'm just being my enigmatic self, I suppose.
Keep those comments coming!
"So, the point I was trying to make is that cursing is about the emotion and not the combination of vowels and consonants."
That can be said of a lot of speech -- that we're expressing our emotions. It's a matter of how we choose to do it that shows the severity and intensity of those feelings.
Maybe I'm missing something...
I think I gave some bad examples... let's go back to the grocery cart running into the new car... I say, GDMF... someone else says fudgesticks. I'm thinking, what idiot let their cart run into my new car... if I knew who did it, I'd key their car and see how THEY liked it! My friend who said 'fudgesticks' is thinking the exact same thing. Putting aside the word choice, isn't what's going on in the HEART the same thing? Anger and a desire for revenge?
...only one person is letting it rip and one is hiding their true feelings behind cute words.
I've always subscribed to the Risky Business theory: Sometimes you have to say, WTF.
And Deadwood is one of my favorite programs.
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