Day Five: Let Go

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

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Having been relatively self-sufficient and fiercely independent since my late teens, this year found me in a place that prevented me from being so. In an absolutely horrendous job market, I found it difficult to obtain meaningful employment here in Hawaii. After two mis-steps into jobs made out of sheer panic at being unemployed and out of money, my fiance' finally asked me a simple question, "Why won't you let me take care of you?" This stopped me in my tracks. Why wouldn't I? Thus began the interior dialog that soon plummeted straight into the bowels of catastrophic thinking... the what if's of impending doom and failure... the fear of being thousands of miles away from home, vulnerable and completely at the mercy of another human being. For weeks, I agonized over this question and my inability to simply let him take care of me and, while I cannot pinpoint the moment that the actual 'letting go' occurred, I can tell you that what I let go of was fear and what I embraced instead was trust... a trust I have never allowed to exist... a trust that has transformed my life.