Today, I resigned from my job at the brokerage firm in order to sign the contract with my new, Fortune 500 employer. I had really intended to do it yesterday... but the time just never seemed right. Keep in mind that the woman for whom I worked is a bit neurotic and I've never been quite sure how she's going to react to ANYTHING -- let alone something this earth shattering.
So, this morning I go in with a knot in my stomach -- having built the whole thing into this HUGE scene in my mind. I've worked it all out... I'll start by buttering her up and telling her how wonderful she is and then I'll drop the bomb. So, around 9:20 she saunters in (normal daily routine) and I think to myself, "let her get settled in and then tell her you need a few minutes of her time"... and then the phone starts to ring and there are problems with a big account and she's ranting and raving about how incompetent people are... so I think, "better wait for things to calm down."
Next, we get changes for a proposal that's supposed to be delivered today... so, again, I delay until all of the final documents are in her hands. At this point, I finally ask her for about 5 minutes of her time. She nods her assent... and the waiting begins. I'm well aware that she has a lunch appointment and then will likely be out of the office the remainder of the day... that's the way she likes to work her Fridays... it gets her to her weekend home "on the River" sooner... Tick-tock, tick-tock... 11 o'clock rolls around and she's rushing around the office like a ferret on speed... 11:15, 11:20, 11:30... she exclaims that she has to pee and then MUST rush out the door. Frantically, I begin to think of alternatives... I'll e-mail her at home -- yeah, that's the ticket -- what a relief! I won't have to do this in person!!! Hooray!
Back from the bathroom she comes -- grabs her coat, her keys and starts out the door. I tell her, "just check your e-mail tonight... I'll put everything in there..." and she stops in her tracks. My heart sinks. She turns... slowly... and closes the door. She says, "I completely forgot, go ahead and tell me what you need to tell me." I say, "no, that's okay... you go ahead... I can put it all in an e-mail. I don't want to do this as you're rushing out the door..." But, alas, my protests fall on deaf ears. She insists... and at that moment, my carefully constructed resignation script flies right out of my pea brain and I blurt out, "I'm leaving!"
This is where it gets good -- are you sitting down? She says, "oh, okay... well, I'm not surprised." What the fuck!?!?!? You must be kidding me!?!? I've spent DAYS agonizing over this resignation and THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME? "I'm not surprised!?!?" So much for earth shattering!
Crestfallen, I slink back to my desk and finish out the day... my only consolation is the thought that, in her typical neurotic fashion, she was holding back her real feelings and will spend the entire weekend in agony over the fact that I'm leaving.
Well... a girl can dream, can't she?
3 comments:
Wow - did i love reading this! I'm cracking up over your description of it all. I'm so glad you are making this step to ultimate happiness!
Oh I am so excited for you! I can just feel it...this is a day you will always remember as a turning point, my friend. I have no doubt that you will make it and make it big! Good luck!
Lauren, I think you're going to do great at your next job...congratulations. BTW, the Toxic Boss I quit working for within the company a year ago -- is the ONLY person who called me Friday to say goodbye. She CLEARLY misses me, and the witch you work for will miss you too...just not until it's over.
ALSO, your previous post about "deserving" something...I have to mention that I went to a writer's workshop and the Pulitzer Prize winning editor I worked for from the Seattle Times asked the crowd about how many of them felt like they were fakes and whether they feared being "found out" to not be as good as they are...well, she was one of the many (more than half in a crowd of hundreds) who raised their hands. It's NORMAL to feel like you are not up-to-par, but I'll tell you, confidence is half the game, and I believe that faking confidence sometimes will even get you some, or at least get you moving to a place where you can have it again. Make sense? :)
((HUGS))
Insert dig on GWB here.
Jules
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