Do You See What I See?

SCENE: Ophthalmologist's office

Sitting in the big black chair, I began the yearly ritual of "E, A, G, D" All was well with the right eye. I read everything but the itsy-bitsy letters that no one over the age of 12 can read. But when she said, "cover your right eye" the scene changed dramatically.

The first group of numbers were a complete blur. I asked if there was something on the lens, as the entire middle of the display looked like a big gray blob. She added refraction and it just looked like a BIGGER gray blob. She kept impatiently asking, "is THIS better, or is THIS better?" I couldn't seem to get her to understand that none of it was better! Finally, she flipped to these GARGANTUAN letters and I said, "ah-ah! There's a B and a G" She said... what about the two in the middle. To which I replied, what two in the middle? At this point, she shifts gears and grabs a little card and shoves it in front of my face. She asks me to look at the little red dot and tell her what is looks like. I said, "it looks like a spider web of wavy lines." She then asked me to switch eyes and, lo and behold, it was a perfect grid.

At this point, I was starting to get a bit freaked out! Even the technician seemed a bit rattled as she hurried from the room. In the distance, I could hear her talking to the doctor... I caught a few words, "severe deficit and macula" but what did it all mean?

I was hurried to another room, where I had to stare at a yellow light and click a button every time I saw a red light flash... then it was on to the pressure test and finally the dreaded dilation. The doc came in and looked in my eyes... grabbed another instrument, looked again... grabbed a third and pushed away from me looking perplexed. He looked yet again and then proclaimed, "I'll be darned, you have a macular hole in your eye!" He briefly explained to me that this is typically a condition of the elderly and seemed a bit surprised that he'd identified it in a 40 year old. He talked about fovials and vitreous humor (is this a joke? am I supposed to be laughing?)... but, to be quite honest, at that point, I was just in shock. I was expecting glasses... not to be told that I needed eye surgery -- and sooner rather than later!

So, of course in typical Lauren fashion, I came home and immediately started researching the condition AND the surgery. It seems that the recovery from the surgery is the REAL issue -- at least for me. It can require as much as SIX WEEKS of remaining in a face-down position. That means no driving and no working. Being a sole proprietor, I'm in the "no work, no eat" category and, due to my autoimmune disease, I am ineligible for disability insurance. Kinda means I'm screwed! Do I take the chance of losing my house or losing my vision?

Do you see what I see? A HUGE dilemma! And talk about timing that just S-U-C-K-S!
Merry Christmas to me!