Don't Leave Home Without It

You know it's going to happen before you ever walk out the door... you know what I'm talking about... the day you say, "oh, I won't bother fixing my hair or putting on makeup - I'm just running to the store... I won't see anyone I know." Then, inevitably, it happens... there she is, in aisle 5 by the Spam and Vienna Sausages... one of the most popular girls from high school. Quick, cut behind the Doritos display -- maybe she didn't see you!

Careful, careful now! Peek around the corners before you make those turns! You even manage to make it all the way to the checkout counter when, rounding the Halloween candy exhibit, you come face to face with Miss Perfect... perfectly coifed, perfectly made up, perfectly dressed in her neat khakis, pressed shirt and loafers. CRAP! Maybe I can turn around before she... "Hi, Lauren! I thought I recognized you, but wasn't sure..." (Price check on register 3, please... could I find out how much a quick makover costs?)

I can hear the chatter at the Baptist church now, "I ran into Lauren at the grocery store and she looked just awful. Do you know if she's been sick or something? Bless her heart, maybe it's due to medication, but she looked awfully puffy. Poor thing. I hope she'll be alright"

Perhaps I'll post a sign on the back of my door that reads: "Hair & Makeup -- DON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT!" When will I learn?