"Take your cat and leave my sweater... we've got nothing left to weather..."
That's where we are this morning -- only, in true fashion, there's a twist. Mr. Small has turned his nose up at everything we own. It went something like this:
Mr. Small: F***, I guess I'm going to have to buy all new pots and pans.
Me: We can divide up what we have. There should be enough for two single people.
Mr. Small: Nah... I'd rather have a whole set of the ones with the copper bottoms... what are they called?
Me: Revere Ware?
Mr. Small: Yeah, that's it. I'll get me a brand new set of those. (sulking) Guess I'll have to buy a new sofa too.
Me: You can have the reclining sofa which I just HAVE to add is the one HE picked out and I abhor
Mr. Small: (grimacing) Eh, it's really not comfortable enough to sleep on... I want one like my old one that's more comfortable. Do we still have the dishes from when I moved out last year?
Me: No, we sold those at the garage sale. I have enough of Nannie's that I can give you half.
Mr. Small: No, that's okay... I'll buy me some new ones.
Me: Really, it's okay... there are twelve in the set and I'll never need that many.
Mr. Small: (wrinkling up his nose) I really don't like those... I'd rather have my own. Do we have an extra coffee maker?
Me: Why don't you take the one with the timer the one he INSISTED on buyingand I'll just pick up a small two-cupper?
Mr. Small: That's okay... I don't like that one anyway... I'll get a better one. (dejectedly) I guess I can sleep on whatever sofa I buy.
Me: If you'd like, you can take the bedroom suite...
Mr. Small: Hmmm... maybe you could just pay me half of what we paid for it...
Me: I don't have that kind of money laying around... sorry.
TEN MINUTES LATER:
Mr. Small: I hope you don't mind if it takes me a while to move out. This move is going to be expensive.
Me: What kind of timeline were you thinking about?
Mr. Small: At least until after Christmas. My greencard is about to expire and I want to apply for citizenship... something he's been PROMISING to do for 6 years and for which MY parents gave him the money... which got frittered away ages ago
Me: I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me. Perhaps if you economized a bit and didn't insist on buying everything new it wouldn't be such a stretch... but then, I forgot, you're too good for hand-me-downs. December 1st -- that's the deadline.
Mr. Small: Well, maybe I'll just sell everything I own and buy a boat.
Me: Yeah... you do that.
-- end--
That's it. I'm done being generous. Can you BELIEVE this guy? He also had the audacity to ask for his "share" of the equity in the house... not two months ago he signed a quit claim deed and I refinanced in my name only. What a nimrod. There IS no equity in the house!
Gentle readers, I never intended this to be a chronicle of a divorce... it just so happens that that's where my life is at the moment... I hope to return to some witty repartee at some point in the near future. For now, I just need to VENT! Thanks for your support.
2 comments:
Gentle Readers? Not ME!
Hon, whatever you want to write here, feel free. That's what a blog is for. It's a great place to vent (as is the board), and to get some advice as needed.
We're here for ya.
Jules
p.s., I was thinking of sending him a Bed, Bath & Beyond Gift Certificate. Where should I mail it? LOL. Just kidding. You'll get one before he does, and only after he's gone so he can't claim "HALF!"
Vent away, my dear!!!! You need this space and I am ready to ride with you through this, well, as best I can from 1000s of miles and another country away. I don't have much advice most time 'cept "take care of you, and Caleb".
My goodness, he is a piece of work. And that is all I can say without needing a good mouth washing with a bar of soap. All I know is you have the patience of...100 of me!!! Hang in there, my friend...
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